Recreational Whinge:  Something has been happening in the past two hours that I need to share and whinge about. 

I’ve been astounded by the number of people who have responded to a requst of mine with something along the lines of, “But what will you give me in return?”

Here’s the background:  I write a daily blog on www.askacoach.com and I also write a weekly newsletter to the 6000 people on the mailing list.  I’ve made commitments to the mailing list that 95% of the time or more I will only share resources, website ideas, free stuff…because most of the people on the list are life coaches, many of whom responded in a survey to say they don’t want anyone (including me) trying to sell them anything and many also acknowledged they don’t have any money to buy stuff anyway, no matter how much they may want it.

So, for the most part, I just point them in the direction of free stuff that may be useful to them.

I also am very proud to have a reputation as being very generous and giving…sometimes to a fault.

In today’s newsletter I asked the people on the list to tell me what coaching tools they’re looking for as I’m putting together a new book.  Now granted, they could read that message and come to the conclusion that when the book is done it’ll be one of those rare occassions where I try to promote it commercially.  Currently the agreement (with my readers) is that the bottom of every newsletter has all the commercial links but the body of the newsletter is just the free stuff, events calendar and points of interest.

Will I charge for the book when it’s done?  Yes, and it’ll be at a really reasonable rate and I’ll be teaming up with a professional coaching institute on the branding and distribution.

I guess what bothers me though about this is that as I was writing up the newsletter I thought, “Do I need to say anything to those people who might want something in return for them sharing their needs and/or ideas with me?”

I came to the conclusion that I wouldn’t say anything about that and just see what happens.  So yes, I guess I set myself up for what I got.

Within just a few hours I’ve received nearly 20 requests for something in return.

And I’ve responded to each of those people with the following that I started cutting/pasting after I responded to the first request:

“Thanks for sharing this question!  I thought about whether or not to address that point in the newsletter and eventually decided against it.

I wanted to see how people would respond to a request for ideas without any strings attached; if anyone would just give for the sake of giving and helping out a colleague who is frequently giving/sharing resources to the mailing group.

I also didn’t say anything because it’s difficult to determine what I’ll give back unless I know what people want.

So I thought, ‘I’ll wait and see what comes in and then find the most appropriate way to thank everyone and surprise them.’

Are you willing to share what you need with a colleauge without a guarantee of a gift in return?

Again, thanks for sharing this question.”

Only some of the people I sent this to came back with a response of what they’re looking for.

It makes me wonder how well people have been trained in this digital age to expect something in return for their contribution or information.

Most internet marketers will tell you that to get a big response rate on various things, you need to promise them stuff.  If they give you their name and email address, you send them a free report or access to a chapter in your book, etc.

I know this “rule” but I wanted to see if the mostly life coaches on this list would just share their needs with a colleague without the bribe attached.

So far I have had far more people ask for the bribe than were willing to just share with a colleague.

Hmmm…

The Positive Spin:  I know the “rule” as I mentioned above, so I’m not “angry” about the responses I’ve received, just curious.  After my response to some of them, they have openly shared.  Maybe I shocked a few of them and they felt a little guilty afterward…not my intention, but maybe it still had a positive impact on the person’s awareness.

I could just start submitting more to the “rule” and offer even more than I am now.  If I want to maintain the reputation of a generous giver, then maybe I need to find more ways to give?  I just need to make sure I don’t feel like I’m bribing them for their input.  I need their input so that I know what they want, whether I eventually give them what they want for free or sell it to them.

That said, I do continually remind myself about the balance between my love of giving and my need for commerciality from time to time to live.  Every week I get at least three request from coaches who want me to give them something and they seldom offer anything in return to me.  So, I guess I also understand that people are expecting more reciprocity, because I do as well.

Finally, I know how jaded life coaches can get with all the people trying to sell them stuff all the time.  We’re a market that can be targeted…I get that.  In fact, life coaches are just one of my markets, so I really get this.

I will just continue to try to be sensitive to the needs of this particular market and try not to make anyone feel too uncomfortable.  Those that don’t like my approaches drop off my mailing list by unsubscribing.  Every time I do anything that even remotely looks commercial, my unsubscribe rate triples.  The positive spin on that is that those are probably not the people I need on the list anyway.