Recreational Whinge: Australians have this very unique way of saying something bitchy about someone.  They frequently start off by saying, “Jill… She’s really lovely, but what a bitch!”  Or it might go something like, “Jack is such an annoying prat.  I mean, he’s a really lovely guy, but he can annoy the heck out of me!”

So, which is it?  Lovely or something else?

It’s as if Australians can’t bring themselves to say what they really think about someone so they couch it in with the “lovely” comment to provide some balance.  I think it’s the Australian version of America’s “political correctness”.

Maybe they don’t want to be known as someone who just whinges about someone else, so when the gossip/comment gets forwarded on (like it’s bound to…and that may be the hidden agenda) then it’s likely to also get forwarded on with the “lovely” compliment so that when the person the comments are about finally hears them from someone else, there’s a chance that they won’t think the original comment maker wasn’t a complete prat themselves.

I suspect it’s an attempt at being fair-handed, which Australians are generally known and respected for.  It’s just not a very elegant way of doing it.  I have no doubt that people aren’t aware they’re using this language pattern and even if they are, their intentions are probably in the right place.

But come on…choose your words more consciously.  Think about what you’re really saying, how and why you’re saying it and most importantly think about the impact your words might have on others based on how they might receive them.

As Don Miguel Ruiz wrote in The Four Agreements, “be impeccable with your word.”

I have a pretty good guess at what some of you might think of me. “He’s lovely, but what a whinger!”

The Positive Spin: I mentioned above that the way Australian’s try to be fair-handed is not very elegant.  Well, they’re not known for elegance.  They’re known for calling it like they see it, for being honest and up front.  And I love that about them.  It’s one of the reasons I decided to spend the rest of my life here.

All the little cultural quirks of any group fascinate me, this one included.  In the grand scheme of things, this really is a nice-ish way of saying something.

Australians are lovely.  Period.