Recreational Whinge:  It never ceases to amaze me how often I hear people say, “I can’t deal with emotions!” 

I hear it in both my personal and professional life, and although I fully respect that emotionally charged situations can be challenging, I find irresponsible (and maybe even lazy) when people don’t care or try to understand someone else (or themselves) at an emotional level.

And I hear lots of people who try to make it a “gender” thing, where women are better at it than men.  That’s a cop out.

Humans have the ability to discuss emotions – period.

Although we may grow up with certain social institutions that may support the development of women more so than men, I think that when people, men especially, claim they can’t deal with emotions, that for many of them, they’re just not trying.

And I think that the level to which someone tries is often linked with the level to which they care.

So maybe the whinge is really about people not caring enough!

Well, in my opinion, that’s just not good enough!

The Positive Spin:  Learning to be aware of ones own emotions and how to monitor and manage them can be challenging.  I get that.  It can be even more challenging trying to understand others at an emotional level.  Emotional intelligence teaches us that if we continue to develop our self awareness and management of our emotions, we’re far more likely to be able to support, help and lead others in situations respectful of their emotions.

It can be done and there are many people who take up this challenge.

There can also be lots of other factors involved which make development in this area even more challenging.  I get that too.

I’m thrilled when I hear people in both my personal and professional lives try to be more emotionally intelligent.  The primary reason I’m thrilled is because they do care about the impact it would have on them and others if they further developed their skills in this area.

And I feel confident that as more people become emotionally intelligent, it will have a flow-on and role-modelling impact on others.